Nosy Neighbors

Have you ever noticed that once someone gets married EVERYONE bugs the couple on when the babies will start? Then once the babies start EVERYONE again bugss the couple on when is enough, enough. I mean, c'mon, it's no ones business but the couple who are or who aren't bringing little lives into this world. Now this does not go out to anyone single person, it's just something I have noticed as of late. It's sad that we as a society think it's our business what a couple does with their procreation abilities. I have many friends and family suffering this fate at the moment, and I have suffered it in the past, and let me just tell you-it's no fun sir re bob! Let's remember to mind our p's and q's and not pester our neighbors. I did once with a dear friend who I hadn't seen in awhile and just asked her, "so when are you two gonna have a baby"(they got married 5 months before me and we had 2 kids already)not really meaning to bug her, just joshin' with her and the response made me feel bad for days. They HAD been trying with no luck. So, please do your dear friends/family/neighbors a favor and just don't ask.

A Little Late to the Thankful Party

As I'm sitting here coughing up a storm and watching my voice disappear, it dawns on me that it's the 10th of November and I haven't been posting what I'm thankful for. You see, I had it all in my mind that I would post one thing that I'm thankful for everyday throughout the month. Well, busy mommy taking care of everyone who is sick, I forgot. So better late than never.

Day 1 Time I have with my dad

Day 2 The opportunity to vote and let my voice be heard

Day 3 My girls and the joy on their faces as they rehearse for a play

Day 4 My boys and Bella- being able to play with them all day

Day 5 School and the joy it brings to the kids when they love learning new things

Day 6 The changing seasons, it's miraculous!

Day 7 Daylight Savings Time- love when I get that "extra" hour

Day 8 The changing weather, I love when it's all rainy and I can be cozy with a blanket

Day 9 The hubs and his help with our sick little ones

Day 10 Being sick- It reminds me how I love being well and to try and stay healthy more.

So here's my list so far. I have a lot to be thankful for and reminded to think of all that I have. We all have our challenges and stresses, and although they might not be the same, we all need to remember to count our blessings even during the hard times. It's funny how I forget this so much. I dwell sometimes, okay a lot, on the things that I have lost(or the people) and it brings me so down. I hope to remember a little more at what I DO have and not grumble at what's been lost. I have a great many of blessings to be counting, so I should count them one by one.

Throwing My Hat into the Fire!

Disclaimer: These are just my own feelings, please don't judge all "LDS" people on them.

So, I feel strongly about this last conference set of talks and not just the controversial one from Boyd K. Packer. I believe the world is thrashing at the sanctity of the family more and more these days. I feel it within my walls of my own home. I believe that the over all theme of this last conference was for us to remember to protect our families and strengthen them against the evil forces of the world. However, most people are outraged with Packer's talk and judge all LDS people as racist and hate mongers. I, however, did not get this feeling from his talk. I believe he was just trying to remind people about our God-given ability to procreate and we need to remember that this is the way God has set up our world. Packer, by no means, said or should anyone jump to the conclusion, that we hate the gay, lesbians, etc. We do not believe or feel that they are evil, or at least most do not. As in any case, there are some people-LDS or not who do feel hatred for all kinds of people. I feel like he was just trying to remind people of the doctrines concerning family. God created us and gave us the power to procreate and it is sacred between a man and a woman. I believe this whole-heartedly and always have and always will. I am a convert of 14 years now, but never have I felt so picked on in my life until now. I have friends that are gay, non-LDS, LDS, and straight, and all of them seem to hate what was "reminded" to all of us and therefore have a hard time accepting my view and think of me as close-minded. I do not understand how because of what/how I feel, I am now looked at as less of a friend. Before I converted I was friends with these same people and we got along and had fun. We were very friendly and laughed with each other all the time. Now, however, my whole world has gone topsy-turvy. I don't understand this. How is it that because I believe God's word(and yes, I do whole-heartedly KNOW that this is His word)I am less of a friend and I'm being judgemental and hateful. We do not feel hatred and evil of anyone. I have been feeling like a lone wolf for quite some time now, but now with this huge debate going on amongst all my friends, I really feel lost. I feel more lost when I wasn't LDS! I just want everyone to know, just because I feel the way I do about God's words does not mean we have to be in battle. We are all God's children and we are all loved. We all have our trials and temptations to overcome, does this mean we abandon one another when we need each other the most? I enjoy my friendships, each and every different one, but if I'm gonna be lashed out at by anyone, I will have to step away. I am the same person I have always been, and If you can't seem to see that, well then I'm sorry. It is time for us all to remember we are ALL different and that is okay. Just because we have diff. opinions or beliefs does not mean we shouldn't/can't be friends. I feel like the Fox and the Hound. Now that I'm all grown up, a lot of my "friends" think we can't be. I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe. It's okay. I love you all anyway and would hope you feel the same way for me.

A Great lesson learned and one to remember

Remembering to be and feel GRATEFUL!

So, we went away for the weekend up to our family's cabin and had a fun time, but at the same time, I suffered and had an extremely hard time. I need to remember to be grateful for what I have and only allow myself small moments of sadness. In order to do this, I feel the need to write down my blessings...

My faith- even when it gets shaken up a bit

My loving Father in heaven

My Savior and all he suffered for me and His understanding of my pain I am feeling

My husband, who is trying his hardest at understanding and sympathizing

Alexis

Christian-even though he's gone now

Kaleigh

Laney

Logan

Noah

Bella

the unnamed babies we have lost

My dad-he's awesome and can lighten up any moment

All my family across the country

My in-law family

My ability to be able to stay at home with my children

Being alive and healthy

Knowing that as long as I try my hardest, I'm going to make it

My friends-always there to make me smile

The beauty of the changing seasons

Knowing when I fall, I'll be picked right back up

The loving hubs-he counts twice!

*Pictures of our fun coming soon.

New Mantra

God doesn't give us what we can't handle;

God helps us handle what we are given.

I am a child of God and He loves me and I put all my trust in him!

And through it all...I Still Got You Babe

Can I just say how grateful I am that God knew so well what life would/could throw at us he gave us all the opportunity to experience it with a helpmeet(aka a wonderful spouse). I love my hubby more and more every day, but lately I've come to love him more than I ever thought possible. I know, crap this post is another personal/mushy love fest for the hubs. I just wanted to write down some thoughts about life and the ever so much hard times that are made bearable by having him in my life. We have experience many hardships and have had a lot more to deal with as of late, spinning my life upside down as I know it, but it has been made easier knowing I have my love of my life spinning with me. The world is a scary, stressful entity right know for our bunch, and at times I have wanted to just throw in the towel, but then I look at the hubs gorgeous, Hazel eyes and I know I CAN'T just give up. I would lose him, our seven children that we share and our wonderful promise that we will be eternally together. Now, why on earth would I ever want to lose us. He makes me laugh and giggle when all I want to do is roll up in a ball and cry, he reminds me that we have always come out of our trials stronger, and that we have/and still are surviving the greatest loss anyone can experience in this life-and doing it ever so slowly, but with strength. He lifts me up when I have fallen into the deep pit of I'm-feeling-sorry-for-myself hole, and he rarely ever loses it when he has every gosh darn right to. I love this man who has been my Mr. Hansen for a lovely almost 13 years. I try to be the best I can and the best I know I am, but when I'm not he reminds me of who and what I am. He has more confidence in me than I do at times and he makes me believe I can do whatever I want, because I am great! You gotta love having a partner like that live with you through not only the good, but the bad, ugly, and the oh -man- I -don't- think -we- are- in -Kansas- anymore- moments! Man, I love that man of mine. I know that with him and with God in my court, I can get through anything that is thrown my way. Life may not always be roses, and it hasn't been much in our 13 years, but the bad makes me stronger and it makes me grow and realize that I am lucky to be married to such an amazing man. Here's to the hubs, may we always keep our chins up even when the world is spinning out of control around us.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder!

Here I go again! Learning a good lesson about myself again. I just looooove when that happens, not really, but I'll take it and run with it. As women, we all at sometime cut ourselves down. Well, I'm notorious for this. It drives the hubs batty, but I can't seem to help it. I feel bad with the way I look and can't seem to get past it. My eyes just see yucky, unbeautiful me, while my hubs and kiddos see me as pretty. I wonder why that is? I mean, I do have my days where I catch myself lookin' pretty dang cute, but most I just see as blah. Well I've learned to tell myself I'm pretty dang cute at least 3 times a day, because I need to learn to love myself and believe it. I have also learned that no matter what my size has been I have always been in disgust. See here I am now, 7 kids later with a lot of extra weight, and I've been disgusted with this photo of me. And here I am before kids and I was disgusted with my size then too. Now I WISH I looked this way again. I feel like this pic shows just what a cutie patootie I really am and could be again. Funny thing, I sooooo didn't feel this way back then. I need to just love ME! Whatever the size I am and I'm sure less blah days will follow. I've been inspired by others who have had horrific accidents or diseases that have left them scarred, but they still feel like a million bucks. I need to get off my pity, ugly party and be thankful for who I am and what I look like. All the extra weight and all. I don't judge others by their cover, so I need to not judge myself. You know that saying, "I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and gosh darn it people really like me," well I will be repeating this over and over to myself until I whole-heartedly believe it! To all those who know to love themselves no matter what they look like thanks for the inspiration of what beauty is. We are all God's children and are all beautiful in His eyes and that's all that really matters! I am a child of God and I am one of His amazing, beautiful, daughters. Thank you so much, my Heavenly Father for another wonderful self-discovery and lesson in my life! Although, I'm sure I will be learning this lesson over and over again. It's a hard one for me to learn and remember always. It's my life-long struggle.

God, MORE lemons, REALLY?

It seems that I keep getting lemons thrown my way. You know the saying, "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade," well unless life is going to give me the sugar and water I need, all I have is lemons. I went away for 5 days, yep only 5, and came back to my baby Noah covered head to toe with the worse case of eczema I have ever seen and my dad barely living. I checked on my dad when I got back, he hadn't been feeling well before I left, only to discover he had swollen up, could barely move without having to catch his breath, and he even said he was no good. Knowing my dad, he's mister positive man, I knew this was NOT good. He went to all these doc appt. and discovered his bp was through the roof(240/190), his kidney wasn't functioning all the way, and the poor guy's heart was enlarged. When he left his appt. his bp finally came down to 195/100, but this still is no good. They think that the high bp is the cause of it all, but won't be sure until he's been on his bp medicine for at least a week. He gained 35 lbs. in water weight from all this too, but now has lost 10 of it since being on water pills and bp meds. So, knowing me, I'm going out of my mind CRAZY! He's the last family member I have, at least that lives close by. I have some cousins and 2 aunts and uncles, but no one really close. Because we don't know what is going to happen with my dad, the hubs and I have decided to keep the kids in traditional school for the next year. I'm nervous, seeing that no man in my dad's family lived into his 60's except his dad-but he had major health problems, all of them died of heart problems including his own mother. So, to make my life a little easier I'll just be supplementing the girls' education so they don't get bored at their school. Isn't it funny, everytime I go planning away, life throws me another curve ball, haha! Not really though. I would REALLY like for life to go smoothly just once.

And for the concern over Noah, apparently we have to slather him in some potent steroid cream 2x a day to help his poor skin. We have been doing it for a week now and he looks SOOO much better. He was so itchy and not feeling well, he wasn't eating much. Now, he's back to his cheery self. I really hope next year will be better. After all the medical scares, the A.C. breaking down, our car needing an overhaul, us barely floatin' on fumes since the hub's pay cut, the school drama, and now my dad's medical scare-I could REALLY use a break from life. I want just a nice, smooth, ride next year-PLEASE! Can you request life rides from above? Just my luck and you probally can't. Oh well, they say "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, " right? By the time I'm done raising my crazy bunch I should be THE strongest woman out there! =)

Sleep- Heaven has hit me again!

SLEEP!

Welcome back my friend! It's been a long time since I have seen you and man alive is it GRREAT to have you back. I am in pure heaven with my little munchkin FINALLY sleeping through the night. I have had two GLORIOUS nights of uninterrupted sleep. It only took her 11 months to figure it out. She is our new record holder. It use to be Logan at 10 months. I never thought I would last longer than 10 months, but I'm alive, walking around a little groggy, and I may bite a little more, but I'm alive and well. It's been a long 11 months, but how can I not get up and welcome my little munchkin. There's no denying her cute little smile and sweetness of her cuddlin up to my chest. If you ask the hubs though, he'll say oh yeah there is! He doesn't wake with her and thinks I should have let her cry it out months ago, but I'm not able to do it. I have the WORSE case of mommy guilt when it comes to letting babes cry it out. So, when she would awaken 2, 3, and sometimes 4 times a night I would get her. I mean it's not as if she was up playing, she wanted food and ate she did. You would think I was starving the girl with how she gulped down her nightly feedings. It was eat and go right back to sleep every couple of hours. Now she is eating a little more in the day, so I think she is fuller at night and doesn't need to get up. It couldn't have happened sooner. The lack of sleep has been catching up with me more, or it's just that I'm a year older now and the poor body can't keep up with no sleep as well as it use to. Whatever the reason, this gal is so HAPPY to have her sleep back. It was nice to go to bed at 11 and not wake up until 6:30 in the morning the next day. Man, does it feel GRREAT! Now let's just hope she keeps it up and the bitey mommy will be put in the closet!

Welcome to Crazy Town!

Such a funny title don't ya think?

It's very fitting to where I am entering right now. My mind is crazy and I have offficially lost it and wound up in crazy town. As if my life isn't busy, crazy, hectic, oh yeah and fun too, I take on another challenge and change our very well working schedule. I have been trying to put the girls in a charter school for a year now and man are those things hard to get into. They work by lottery and wouldn't you know after submitting four, yes four, applications to four schools we didn't get picked in any of the lotteries. Just my dumb luck! I have been having issues-well my kids have been so it makes them my issues, with the school and they are ABSOLUTELY bored in their classes and the work I believe is WAY too easy for all of my bright-minded girls. So, I thought to put them in a charter school where they can be challenged. A lot of their friends have switched to charter schools so I thought why not and have been researching them for over a year and voila I knew it was the right decision. Only problem is we can't seem to get into any of them due to high demand and too few openings. Next best thing... HOMESCHOOLING! Yep, you heard me. I am and have signed us up for homeschooling. Well it's actually considered a virtual charter school and they give me all the materials for free! I have signed them up with Utah Virtual Academy who's curriculum is the K12 program. The K12 program is awesome and I have fallen in love with the lessons. I will be their learning coach and teach, but they all have thier own online teacher they are accountable to. It's perfect! This way I don't always have to be the mean teacher/mom. They have to turn their assignments into someone else, I just have to teach them and guide them. We'll hold "school" in the house and have "field trips" and "labs" outside of the home. I'm excited and terrifed all at the same time. Can't wait to see how this first year goes. It'll be busy, well with a baby, two toddlers, and trying to teach the 3 girls, but a fun adventure! Wish me luck and I'll keep you up to date on how our adventure is going.

A Spotlight on me, but really it's all for Christian!

I love this blog because this mom speaks to me and she features other moms on her blog. It's a great way to see how other mothers, mother and live their lives. I simply love this one special weekly feature she does called Real Mommies/Real Challenges. She features moms that live their lives while dealing with different challenges. Well she saw that I am a follower and checked out my blog and asked me if she could feature me in one of her spotlights. To say the least I was flabber gasted and so didn't think I was worthy to be put in this feature. Afterall I am not mothering my children with a disability or some other extreme challenge, but she thought I am a real mommy with a real challenge. So... my spotlight(or as Eric calls it my two minutes of fame, not really, but haha) about my lovely son and family is tomorrow on her cute little blog. Check it out if you want, but check out her blog more to see her other moms that are featured too. Go to http://littletotsbigideas.blogspot.com/2010/04/real-mommies-real-challenges.html This is such a cool, and so unexpected little honor! Thank you Tina! This one is for you my little man, Christian Eric!

Putting The Cart Before the Horse!

This is what Eric calls our new adventure. We are definately "putting the cart before the horse." We have decided to both register for a 5K and we only have about 10 weeks until race day. Neither one of us is in the best shape, but we're gonna get ourselves there or at least die trying, haha! He says he needs something like this to make him get in shape, so I did it folks. We are registered for our first 5K together. Ready, set, GO! June 19th at 6:30 in the morning. Oh man, I better get walking, running, and a training if I want to not die on race day. I use to run with my dad, but that was way before I gave my body over to the 7 kids I've had. Hopefully all the training will get my body back in shape or at least set it on the right track to getting back in shape. Wish us luck and I'll try to get some pictures posted of race day, hey maybe I'll even post before and after of us throughout this process!

My new journey!

I'm going on a new little journey this year and you as readers get to come along for the ride!

I am spending this new year pushing myself to try new things and I'm going to write about them and share them with you so you can try them too or just by proxy. I am trying new things to cook and bake for my family, I am trying my hands at new crafts, I am pushing myself to try and let go!

Have you ever been hurt by someone by something that was said or done? Have you ever misunderstood something that was said and haven't been able to get past it? Have you ever felt worthless or just plain talentless? Have you ever held negative conversations in your head with yourself? Have you ever been hurt by a loved one and just couldn't get past it and been able to just LET IT GO?

Well, I have been all of these things at some point and still some to this day. I have made it a goal to try and just let it all go. I'm tired of having the hurt and pain rule my life and I've decided to try and better myself through a self-discovery journey this year. I have felt like I'm nothing but a mom and that's all I have to offer. Well over the past month I have rediscovered my passions in life and am attempting to push myself further and see what else I can do.

Don't get me wrong, being mom is the MOST wonderful thing ever and what I have wanted my whole life. It has and still is my ultimate dream, but I know that there are some out there who have or do think little else of me and it hurts, but I am here to say I AM MORE! Watch out cause here I come full steam ahead and nothing is gonna stop me from growing and learning and loving everything about ME! I can do and be so much more and this year I'm gonna prove it to myself and to others. So, off I go to DO, BE, AND LIVE my best life!

Thanksgiving Blues!

Okay, just a little warning upfront- this is my tiny lit'l whining episode so if you don't want to hear it leave this blog now!
I am having a hard time coming up with things to honestly be thankful for and fully feel them. I know-we live in a house, the kids(most of them)are healthy, Eric still has a job, and I'm not dying, BUT it's that time of year again where I can't stop thinking and longing, and agonizing over Christian. I feel like I don't deserve to be here because I let my son die. I know not intentionally, but I didn't fight hard enough, pray enough, and have faith enough to make him live. It kills-a mother should fight tooth and nail for her kids and I told him it was okay to let go. What kind of mother does that- Not a good one! I ABSOLUTELY HATE the holiday season now. I put on a good face for my other kids and try to enjoy them enjoying the holidays as much as they can(it is hard for them too), but I wish I could just be happy and not let the pain rule my life. Christmas is hard,due to the anger I have with God not helping and healing my son. I know it wasn't HIS plan, but MY plan was to raise all my children.
This year is harder because times are tough all around, still trying to figure out what is going on with me health wise(getting freaked out by doctors all the time), battling some depression and LOTS of anger at the cards I've been dealt my whole life, and really hating not having a mom or sisters to help and talk to. It sucks being an only child and one who doesn't have a mother in her life. Be grateful those of you who do have moms and sisters as support systems, it really is hard being on your own. I love my dad and we are very close, but there are still some things a girl needs her mom for and would love to have sisters for. I am glad at least my daughters will have each other to grow up with and lean on one another. They are already pretty good at this.
So life will get better, right? Well here's hoping to a better year. As far as feeling thankful, I do feel thankful that Eric and I are still together and fighting to keep our heads above water, raising our kids, loving each other, and hoping to heal our pain. I just want to feel thankful without the guilt and pain over Christian always bringing me down and making me want to give up and throw in the towel. I know I can't(I have 6 other little ones depending on me), but it doesn't take the desire to do so go away. Whining is now done-good night!

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Moment

So, Eric and I have been wondering if it's possible that at times I have suffered PTSD moments when getting upset over Christian matters. This week I truly know I have PTSD when it considers the huge ordeal with Christian. I had to go and get a scan to try and determine a medical condition or at least try to solve it. I went to the hospital by myself already a little stressed and nervous only to find out that my scan was in the nuclear medicine department. I had to lay under this scanner pressed up against my abdomen for 1 1/2 hours. In the middle of it I started shaking and freaking out in my head trying to hold back tears as they filled my eyes.
The last time I was in the nuclear med. dept. was with Christian when he was getting his scan and he stopped breathing. I was by myself with him and it was chaos for a few minutes trying to give him more oxygen and monitoring him and the tech. trying to get him stable. I felt like I was right back there in that moment, only now the scan was for me. It's been a tough week and still no final answers on what the trouble is. All I can think about is how hard it has been without Christian, how hard it was with him going through all that he did-seeing him deteriate over his last month, explaining it to the kids over and over trying to make them understand he can't come back no matter what, and now dealing with my own medical problems makes me just throw up my hands and say alright isn't this enough, but come on I'm strong and I'll take what you give me and try and deal with it. As stressful as the week has been without any definate answers nothing will ever be as hard as battling for Christian and losing him. I now know that one can have PTSD when dealing with grief and this has been very hard for me-yet another trial for me to try and overcome, but I have to make myself remember the good with Christian to take me out of those moments. It's a struggle that I know I'll have for awhile, but there will be a time when memories of his battle won't make me come uncompletely done. It's as if I am experiencing the loss, pain, fear, and begging for his life all over again. It takes me right back to the exact feeling and event. It's a very strange feeling kinda like an out of body experience. I just can't explain it, but it's very scary sometimes. I only hope that times will get better and that my medical problems will be simple and cleard up quickly. Not knowing is very frightening-for me and Eric as well. Once we know what is going on (good or bad) things will be better.

When a child dies

So, it's been a hard month for our family. Really, all our months are hard, but some are harder than others and this would be one of them. It's been 6 years since Christian was first diagnosed with Neuroblastoma and 4 1/2 years since he passed away. It isn't getting any easier for us, in fact it seems to be getting worse. The kids are older and asking more questions and feeling the weight of the reality of it all. They cry, get mad, and then cry some more with the unfairness they feel of it all. They want him back and don't understand why he can't come back. Even the ones that came after him. Logan sees pictures of him and says my brother back. Poor kid.
This past month Laney began kindergarten, something her brother never got the chance to. It's significant to us, because she was born 2 months after he first got sick so it's difficult to see her growing up and doing things he didn't. Kaleigh will also be turning 8 tomorrow and getting baptized in 2 weeks which is hard because it's out of order. Her brother should have been before she reached this milestone. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my kids and their milestones and events, but they also hit a sore part with us. We are constantly reminded of Christian's abscence and it hurts like hell. People don't understand this and think well we've had plenty of time to grieve so get over it. Harder said than done. It's hard to get up in the morning without him and hard to go to sleep for fear of nightmares full of guilt and pain. We are doing the best we can, but apparently its not enough for some. We get pushed and lectured to get over it, be there for your kids, get over the anger with God, do your church duties and be happy you live a charmed life now. It's extremly frustrating and irritating to have people doing this, especially when it is family. Eric and I are doing our best with the awful hand we have been dealt with. We are there for our kids and try our hardest to do our church duties and deal with our internal issues with the anger we feel. We have had a very hard marriage from the get go and its amazing we have not only survived it all, but we have grown closer and stronger. We constantly get comments on how to live and be grateful we have a great life. I want to yell at all of these people to just shut up and butt out of our life, you don't know how it is day to day. You don't know about half the crap we live with and have lived with in the past. We are grateful for what we have and our wonderful, beautiful 7 children, but we also deeply and sadly miss our eldest son. It is not easy, but we are doing our best. So please, if you have a comment or lecture about us not doing all that we are suppose to be doing-please keep it to yourself! I know harsh, but its getting tiresome and making us angry. Sorry for the long post, but its been an awful day today.

Nursing Bliss and Big Boy Choo-Choo Pants

We have had quite the exciting week in our house. I have been stressed out a ton at poor little Bella's slow weight gain due to the jaundice. Thankfully the jaundice is now finally all out of her system and we have just been watching her weight gain over the past 3 weeks. The doctor had ordered us to take Bella in every week to weigh her until she could finally gain an ounce a day and I'm happy to say she finally has. The jaundice was making it hard for her to keep the weight because she was just flushing it all out of her body, but she finally gained 9 ounces this past week putting her at a nice 9 1/2 pounds. She still looks really skinny because she has also grown 2 inches in a month. But yay baby Bella. Doctor trips are now over unless it's a well-child visit. FINALLY!
Our other exciting event is we finally have our boy in his big boy pants! We have been struggling with potty training since he turned 3, which was 9 months ago. He came upstairs last Thursday and declared he wanted to sit on his hop hop ( his frog potty) and go pee pee. Well he did, and his diaper was dry. He continued this all day, not having one accident. He got to wear his big boy pants over the weekend and was so proud of himself. He's having a hard time with #2 potty, but we'll eventually get that down too. I'm just glad to have another kid out of diapers. We now only have Noah and Bella left, yay! What will I do when I have no kids in diapers, enjoy my soft hands again since I won't be washing them a ton a day.

Doctors are so wish-washy!

So, I had another run to the hospital on Friday and the nurses and residents thought I was contracting and going into labor, but no go. I got sent home and went in this morning for my check-up. Baby is doing good and measuring 2 weeks ahead but because of all the strange symptoms I now have to go do NSTs(non-stress tests) and get AFI measurements. All to make sure I don't go into labor on my own. The worry before was if I could make it to 36 weeks and now we are told the hospital won't let me deliver until the 8th of June unless it's an emergency for me or the baby. ARRRGH!
They put me on bedrest so to keep me going until 36 weeks and now I have to go until June, no fair. It creates real problems because Eric leaves on the 14th for a seminar and I won't get home until the 12th. So I have to recoop., take care of a newborn, put my 2 older girls back in school on the 15th, and take care of the 3 younger ones all on my own for 5 days. Yeah right. Oh yeah, our house is completely full of stairs, the enemy for a C-section recooperation. I just love the doctors. They say I can only go early if something else goes wrong. So I'm put in the position of either recooperating on my own or wishing something goes wrong so I can have the baby early.
The doctors just don't know one way or another which is the best. My doctor would love to be able to deliver me at 37 weeks, but his hands are tied by the hospital. ARRRGH, is all I have to say! So that's what's going on here. It's very frustrating and I am so done being pregnant, but what are you going to do. So I'm just going to sit back and see what happens.
Thanks for reading my rant, hope all is well with all of you and enjoy the nice weather!

Things that come in threes!

Well, I'm just not that good at taking doctor's orders, or at least keeping them fully. It's hard to take it easy and stay down with 5 very energetic children. The last couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster. It started out with getting info, if you can call it that, about Alexis and our waiting game to see if she's okay. Then came the run to the hospital with thoughts of losing our little one, but she's okay thank goodness. My condition just keeps us on our toes and I need to not do as much. Then the final event, poor Noah getting his tooth knocked back up into his gums and a big gash in his mouth. My lovely 3 yr old tank was running downstairs and bumped into him knocking him into a container of books. Needless to say there was a whole lot of bleeding, crying, and guilt(from me not being downstairs with them). We took Noah to the pediatric dentist and have to wait for a month to see if the tooth will come back down by itself or if we just leave it alone or get it pulled. The dentist thinks there's no permanent damage, so just another adventure of having 5 small kids in the house.
Well at least I can say my life isn't boring, but a little less adventure would be nice once in a while. The older kids go back to school again on Monday which is a real good thing. It's actually easier to take care of the 3 younger ones on bedrest than all 5.
We had the opportunity to enjoy some of the good weather, before the snow came again. Eric and I took the kids to their school on Saturday and flew kites with them. He made me promise to just sit and watch, but five little ones running in different directions all the time is hard for one person to deal with, so I took it upon myself to look after Noah. My mind said yes I can, while my body said no you certainly can't. So my little jaunt with the family put me into bed for the rest of the day and all of Sunday. It sucks when you think you can do something, but your body tells you differently. I feel like an old lady, seriously I am never going to let my body get old if I can help it.
So that's what we have all been up to lately and hopefully it will be a little more quiet on our homefront. I wish you all well and have a Happy Day!