Friday, January 14, 2011

A New Year and New Luck!

Another year has started and man am I glad it began with GREAT, WONDERFUL news!  The end of 2010 was a rough one for me personally and for our family.  A lot of bad things happened and then more bad things happened.  Many do not know the bad, the ugly, and the horrible because the hubs and I just don't share what's going on in our lives.  We've kind have been like that our whole marriage, but not now.  I'm spilling the beans, mainly 'cause I'm SO glad it all worked out for the good.  My life has flashed before my eyes and I've come out of it with a new determination to NEVER sweat the small stuff and ALWAYS enjoy the here and now.  Not that I didn't try really hard before, I just have a new viewpoint now.
    Let me back you up.  I really thought I was done having kids, but my inner soul kept bugging me about one more.  I know, you would think 7 is enough for anyone, but I guess not me.  Well in strolls September's events.  We lost the hub's grandma and so we had the whole family in town for the funeral.  Perfect timing for a family photo.  The hub's and I had a suspicion I might be with child, so we laughed at how every time we take a family photo, there's a bun in the oven-making the family photo all ready null and void.  Fast forward to a week later and said bun-in-the-oven no more.  I lost what we now refer to as the maybe-baby while on a family getaway to our family's cabin.  I wasn't sure at the time it was really a MC(can't even type the word), but after many months of problems we now know it was.  This event however, wasn't even the worse of the last 3 months.  Moving on to what I like to call a little Too Much Info for some.
   The problem with being on a family getaway is you don't want to end the fun, or at least I didn't, so suffering silent is what I did and after about 10 days of pain it finally stopped-so no doctor did I see(looking back, SO wish I had).  This is what started the ever so stress, worry, and life scaring events for me.  I wasn't the same after this(luckily I am now), at least my body wasn't.  I was having problems emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Finally after a few weeks I was able to see my doc, only to be put on an emotional rollercoaster.  They wanted to test me for everything from cysts to the ever dreaded... CANCER!  We really don't like that word, but with my symptoms and family history, they really, really thought it was.  I was a nervous wreck waiting for the results.  The hubs and I would talk, but he didn't want to hear it.  One night he got really upset and asked if I would stop wondering how/what we would tell the kiddos.  My life of only 33 years was quickly flashing before me and I couldn't get out of the what if I do have cancer, what will my kiddos do, what will we do, what will the hubs do?  It was a place I never want to visit again.  While all this was going on with me, I also had to deal with my dad's results for his heart test as well.  I was scared to think of losing him too.  It will kill the kiddos to lose their grandpa, he's too young.  My dad was a little bit of a wreck too, he had never been sick in all his 57 years, so this was a new thing for him.  He didn't like the prospect of having to go under for heart surgery just as much as I didn't like it.  I felt overwhelmed, neurotic, angry, and just plain old TIRED!  On top of all this, the holiday season was upon us and the last thing I wanted to do was put on a happy face and celebrate, but that's exactly what I did.  Finally, by the end of December we had some news, but it went from o.k. to NOT,  very quickly.  I didn't have any cysts, blood work was o.k., but was told symptoms are not and I needed a few more ultrasounds and scans.  So, in I went and finally had an answer the first week of January.  Heed this advice from someone who learned the hard way... if you think you have suffered a MC and your body starts to act funny, get in to a doc ASAP!  My GREAT news that I received was I all clear, not even a spec of precancer cells anywhere.  Just a body that should have been cleaned up after the MC and since it wasn't, I had an infection and it was messing up with my natural hormones causing all the confusion and pain.  And on top of that GREAT news, my dad's heart is finally healing with the new meds they gave him and so it looks like he might stay out of the operating room.  They are giving him another check-up in 6 weeks, but the doc is very optimistic that it will heal 100% by then.  I mean in a little less than 2 months it went from 29% pumping to now 42% pumping.  Let's just say I'm crossing my fingers, hoping and praying that the meds do indeed fix it all the way.  I'm very thankful we have the medical advances we do today.  I hated the thought of my dad in surgery and I'm glad I don't have to think about it for the time being.  I'm also glad it is a new year with a new chance of great things to come.
   I know, a long story, but it explains why my blog/journal is a month behind.  Hopefully I'll get it caught up over the weekend.


  1. SO glad things worked out! I'm sorry you had to go through all that uncertainty! Not knowing is the worst! So glad you (and your dad) are healthy and happy!

  2. You are a stinker! I knew about your dad, but then you had all this turmoil underneath. I understand not saying anything, though. It is a personal situation that you have to wrap your head around first. However, if you ever want a little extra support you know there are many around who love you and will help you! Thank goodness you are better. I can totally see you with a "eight is enough" situation! Keep us posted!

  3. I am sorry about the MC - always a loss no matter how many kids you have.
    I am glad everything worked out for both you and your father.
    Your kids are adorable.