Saturday, November 28, 2009

A Fun New Tradition

So, this year I needed to go easy on myself-due to the fact my cold doesn't seem to be leaving me, so I combined two traditions into one new big one. This is our new family advent calendar. Every year we buy all our kids their own little chocolate advent calendar to count down the days. We also plan out the month of December going out on activity days every single day until the 24th(the kids are off track the whole month). This year I have decided to do only 12 days of activities and the other 12 days we will open up a small family present. I took 24 socks and hung them on some ribbon and placed 24 pieces of paper in them( 12 say activity and 12 say present). The days that say activity the kids will pick off a list and we will do that activity. The days that say present they pick which present we open(just small things like books, socks, pencils, etc.). When I presented this idea to the kids they jumped for joy and thought it sounded like tons of fun! I can't wait to start it and see how it goes. The socks also have a small piece of candy in them for each kid too. Who doesn't like more chocolate at Christmas! I'm excited to watch them all pick and choose what we do and what present we open. The kids have seen the presents all wrapped up and they are excited because there are really big ones(I tricked them with wrapping in bigger boxes)and can't wait to pick those ones first. We are going in turns so that each child gets to pick down a sock and choose. Each kid will get four turns and they figured this out and thought it was so awesome-Kaleigh's words. We'll take pictures of each day and hope this becomes a new tradition-it would make things a little easier each year. Have a good weekend and Happy Holidays!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

A family traditon for the past 12 years now is decorating for Christmas immediately following the Turkey dinner. We always decorate the family tree with the kids the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. Since we have done this for so many years now the kids remember it and can't wait to have our tree trimming party. We play a Disney Christmas album and give them their ornaments for that year and take a picture of all the kids placing their new ornament on the tree. We then proceed to hang the rest of the kids' ornaments one by one(which is already quite a few since they get a new one every year from grandma and grandpa too x 7 kids = a lot). They love placing them all and watching the tree get filled and come to life with all the fun ornaments. This year Noah even got all excited and had this look of pure amazement at his ornaments. I love to watch them all and see the excitement and anticipation for Christmas to come! It makes me enjoy Christmas again-at least for a moment in time. It's a joy to see their joy and I hope it lasts for a long time.

Essay Winner!

I am so PROUD of this girl! I always am, but this is a special honor that our lovely daughter received this last week. In her school the whole 5th grade participates in the D.A.R.E. program and after they have completed the program they have a graduation. Well this year's program also contained an essay contest. The students were all asked to write an essay and one girl and one boy from the entire grade would be selected as winners. Well our miss Alexis won for the girls from her grade(which is about 150 students) and received this certificate and a free meal at Del Taco-her dad is excited to take her for lunch. The funny thing about this(well not that funny to me) is she didn't even tell us until after the ceremony. I have been sick and we were going to take Bella to the doctor's the morning of the graduation so we ended up not going. We didn't know that she was being presented an award and she read her essay for the entire school and parents. I felt very bad for not being there, but a little upset that no one told us about it. Sheesh, I would have thought her teacher would have let us know, but oh well. Alexis read it to us when she got home and Eric and I are very proud of her. Way to go Alexis!

Friday, November 27, 2009


We heard earlier this month that Rocky Mtn. Candlelighters closed their doors and laid off the very small, paid staff it had due to the economy. They are still operating through the kindness of volunteers, but they really need to get back their office. The director of Candlelighters sent all families a letter about Bingham High School's choice to make them the benficiary of their annual fashion show put on by DECA. The students at BHS asked if any of the families would like to participate and my lovely children jumped at the chance. They will be modeling, escorting, and helping out with the show. We are quite excited for this opportunity-yet again to do something in memory of our boy. The show will be on December 10th at Bingham High School at 7 p.m. The show tickets are $2 per person or $10 for a family. Please, if you can, come out and enjoy a night of fashion and fun all benefiting Candlelighters. This organization is one that families cannot live without. It is extremely helpful when you have just had your life turned upside down with the diagnosis of cancer in your child. If you can't make it consider giving a small donation to Candlelighters at Any small amount will make a difference(yes even a dollar)in the lives of these families and even the kids who survive the dreaded disease. Not only does this organization help during the diagnosis but they even contiue to support survivors through camps, clinics, parties, and support groups. They also keep in touch with "angel" families and support them as well. They are awesome and I can't begin to list all that they do. Happy Holidays and Happy Healthy Living! Pictures of the show will follow later!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Very Thankful!

Okay, so the Gods must have been reading my blog about having a hard time feeling my blessings. Well I must say I am feeling really grateful right now. I am sick(still-going on about 2 weeks now) and have been trying to keep the kids from getting Bella sick, but I can't keep her away from me seeing how I need to feed her all the time. She started getting sick Sunday night and kept getting worse. She woke up Monday morning with the nastiest cough and sneezing like crazy. When she would cry it sounded the worst due to her being all stuffed up. I decided to take her in on Tuesday because she was yanking at her ear and a fever was starting to creep in. They warned me that due to her being under 6 months expect a trip to Primary's. Oh, not again. Here we go!
Well Eric took her in, because I am so sick that driving is a no, no! Whew! Luckily she just has a head cold and the ear grabbing is due to the fact she has a whole row of teeth ready to pop. At least the doctor thinks so from the huge swollen gums in her mouth. We escaped Primary's and I am VERY grateful for that fact! Our doctors office has been sending every baby under a year that they have seen in the past week straight up to the hospital. Now we just need to watch her and make sure she doesn't get worse(her cold could lead into RSV if we are not careful). Luckily she is still nursing and that is helping her not get so sick. Thank goodness and thank the heavens. I so don't want another trip to the hospital with her again. I am thankful for all my kids' health and the fact that our family seems to just have head colds and not the flu of any kind.
We hope everyone has a good, HEALTHY, Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thanksgiving Blues!

Okay, just a little warning upfront- this is my tiny lit'l whining episode so if you don't want to hear it leave this blog now!
I am having a hard time coming up with things to honestly be thankful for and fully feel them. I know-we live in a house, the kids(most of them)are healthy, Eric still has a job, and I'm not dying, BUT it's that time of year again where I can't stop thinking and longing, and agonizing over Christian. I feel like I don't deserve to be here because I let my son die. I know not intentionally, but I didn't fight hard enough, pray enough, and have faith enough to make him live. It kills-a mother should fight tooth and nail for her kids and I told him it was okay to let go. What kind of mother does that- Not a good one! I ABSOLUTELY HATE the holiday season now. I put on a good face for my other kids and try to enjoy them enjoying the holidays as much as they can(it is hard for them too), but I wish I could just be happy and not let the pain rule my life. Christmas is hard,due to the anger I have with God not helping and healing my son. I know it wasn't HIS plan, but MY plan was to raise all my children.
This year is harder because times are tough all around, still trying to figure out what is going on with me health wise(getting freaked out by doctors all the time), battling some depression and LOTS of anger at the cards I've been dealt my whole life, and really hating not having a mom or sisters to help and talk to. It sucks being an only child and one who doesn't have a mother in her life. Be grateful those of you who do have moms and sisters as support systems, it really is hard being on your own. I love my dad and we are very close, but there are still some things a girl needs her mom for and would love to have sisters for. I am glad at least my daughters will have each other to grow up with and lean on one another. They are already pretty good at this.
So life will get better, right? Well here's hoping to a better year. As far as feeling thankful, I do feel thankful that Eric and I are still together and fighting to keep our heads above water, raising our kids, loving each other, and hoping to heal our pain. I just want to feel thankful without the guilt and pain over Christian always bringing me down and making me want to give up and throw in the towel. I know I can't(I have 6 other little ones depending on me), but it doesn't take the desire to do so go away. Whining is now done-good night!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Perfect Love

Sweet siblings who just adore each other-if you couldn't tell. I captured these two talking and loving each other while I was putting a shopping list and coupons together. These two are the sweetest pair. It reminds me of another pair. Christian use to love on Laney just like this. Older brothers and baby girls= Love at first sight!
This is Bella talking to Logan as he is talking to her saying her name in his cute, little high-pitched voice. I just love moments like these!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Bella + Feet= LOVE

Bella is 5 months!

Our sweet Bella turned 5 months on Monday! She is such a sweet girl. We love her tons and enjoy all the new things she is doing. She has the biggest smile and it can light up your day in seconds. She has been eating food, she grabs at toys now, she is trying to sit up all on her own, and yes she is starting to teeth. As seen in the photo she has a very bad rash from all the drool. The rash reminds us of Christian's rash. They are almost identical. We try to keep stuff on it, but the drool is beating the cream.
She's still as happy as can be even with the rash. As a sidenote, the cute little outfit she is wearing was given to us by Eric's cute Aunt Janelle when we had Alexis almost 11 years ago. It has now gone through 4 girls. It's a nice outfit and tough. You can't see it, but it has a cute giraffe on the side of it. All the girls love it and remember it in their baby book. Bella also loves putting her feet in her mouth and has come to master this trick.