Fundraising for a good cause!

In memory of our son, Christian, we are taking part in a fundraiser for Candlelighters. In October we as a family are giving back and participating in their Walk of Hope. This walk will give money to Rocky Mountain Candlelighters for Childhood Cancer. We are hoping as a family to at least raise $400.00. We were taken care of in the hospital through this group and we still are even after losing our son. Please consider making a donation. Check out our family fundraising page at www.active.com/donate/walkofhope/Christian. This is for a great cause, and they are in need of money to continue helping families who are fighting to keep their children alive and well. We thank you for anything you can give and I'm sure if Christian were here he would thank you too.

Happy 8th Birthday Kaleigh Brianne

Kaleigh Brianne joined our family on August 23, 2001. She weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz. and was only 18 inches long. She was and still is our smallest baby ever. To most people she is average, but for our babies she was tiny.

Our darling little Kaleigh always had a smile and would strike a pose. By the way she still does even today. She may be little, but she has a lot of spunk!

This was our first big family trip all by ourselves and Kaleigh had a blast. She's our thrill seeker and wanted to go on Thunder Mountain, but she was too short. She cried the whole time that I was gone with Alexis and Christian on it, until she got to meet Jesse from Toy Story 2. She was the only one who got to meet her.

Here's our cute little spunky girl at her b-day party last year. This year we just had a nice quiet family dinner on her birthday.

Here's her first year at Softball. She had a blast on our team. I coached her and

Alexis last fall and we all enjoyed it.

This sums Kaleigh up. She's a cute girl who just adores to pose for pictures. She's been doing it since she could crawl. Who knows, maybe she'll model some day.

She just loves the camera anytime it comes out.

We love our little Kaleigh and can't wait to see her get baptized in a couple of weeks. She makes us laugh everyday and she is quite the spunky child. We love you and Happy Birthday miss Kaleigh.

When a child dies

So, it's been a hard month for our family. Really, all our months are hard, but some are harder than others and this would be one of them. It's been 6 years since Christian was first diagnosed with Neuroblastoma and 4 1/2 years since he passed away. It isn't getting any easier for us, in fact it seems to be getting worse. The kids are older and asking more questions and feeling the weight of the reality of it all. They cry, get mad, and then cry some more with the unfairness they feel of it all. They want him back and don't understand why he can't come back. Even the ones that came after him. Logan sees pictures of him and says my brother back. Poor kid.
This past month Laney began kindergarten, something her brother never got the chance to. It's significant to us, because she was born 2 months after he first got sick so it's difficult to see her growing up and doing things he didn't. Kaleigh will also be turning 8 tomorrow and getting baptized in 2 weeks which is hard because it's out of order. Her brother should have been before she reached this milestone. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my kids and their milestones and events, but they also hit a sore part with us. We are constantly reminded of Christian's abscence and it hurts like hell. People don't understand this and think well we've had plenty of time to grieve so get over it. Harder said than done. It's hard to get up in the morning without him and hard to go to sleep for fear of nightmares full of guilt and pain. We are doing the best we can, but apparently its not enough for some. We get pushed and lectured to get over it, be there for your kids, get over the anger with God, do your church duties and be happy you live a charmed life now. It's extremly frustrating and irritating to have people doing this, especially when it is family. Eric and I are doing our best with the awful hand we have been dealt with. We are there for our kids and try our hardest to do our church duties and deal with our internal issues with the anger we feel. We have had a very hard marriage from the get go and its amazing we have not only survived it all, but we have grown closer and stronger. We constantly get comments on how to live and be grateful we have a great life. I want to yell at all of these people to just shut up and butt out of our life, you don't know how it is day to day. You don't know about half the crap we live with and have lived with in the past. We are grateful for what we have and our wonderful, beautiful 7 children, but we also deeply and sadly miss our eldest son. It is not easy, but we are doing our best. So please, if you have a comment or lecture about us not doing all that we are suppose to be doing-please keep it to yourself! I know harsh, but its getting tiresome and making us angry. Sorry for the long post, but its been an awful day today.

Photo Shoot with the little ones

So here goes with a whole bunch of photos. I love to take pictures and I adore my children, when I combine the two I'm in pure heaven. Being a stay at home mom is the best and busiest time of my life so I want to capture the moments as best I can. I thought I would share a day in my life with you and bring a smile to your face. These little ones have pure happiness in their eyes and make me laugh all the time.


Noah just loving the tunnel fun.

Logan rolling in the tunnel over and over.

Laney just hanging out.

Logan and Bella. Wow, that's a big 3 year old and long 2 month old!

Taking a chill.

Starting to wave. Oh, how cute!

Gotta love that smile!

This is just part of the photo shoot of Bella, more to come later. I just love this little baby. I will post some of the older girls too. I love to just take pictures of my kiddies. They are so photogenic and happy kids. How could life get any fuller.

Bella's 2 month check-up

Sleeping after her appointment full of pokes and prods.
Looking straight at me and having a conversation with mommy.


I caught her laughing which is the cutest thing. Sometime I'll post a video of her giggle. It'll melt your heart.

She had her 2 month check-up on Monday and she is officially growing like her brother. She is skinny and tall. Her stats are 10 pounds 2.5 ounces, she is 23 1/2 inches long, and her head is almost 39 cm. She is 30% for weight, 85% for height, and 30% for her head size. Her height to weight percentage is less than 5%. The only difference Bella has with her growth from Christian is she has a smaller head, other than that she is long and skinny just like him.
We love this little girl so much and we are very glad she is growing and developing good.

Another School Year!

Oh how the time flies, my little Laney started kindergarten this morning. She was so excited, bouncing around and eating her breakfast so fast so we could get to school sooner. She's such a silly girl.
Laney all lined up and ready to enter her classroom with excitement.

Her standing in front of her school with the funniest expression.

All three girls ready for the school day. Alexis and Kaleigh actually started last week, but I wanted a picture of all three in front of their school. So cute, and unbelievable that I have all three girls in school now. Wow!

Alexis on her first day with her new classmates.

Sweet Kaleigh waiting in her school line to go into her new classroom. She's in a portable this year and thinks it's the coolest thing. Gotta love her.

Bella's Blessing

We blessed our sweet Bella Georgia today and had a lovely party for her afterwards. We had family over, minus the few that live out of state-who were missed, and the kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Bella took some very cute pictures today. I actually caught her smile in this one, which I absolutely adore. She is really just how her name says, she is beautiful.
This one I love also. She just looks like a pretty doll.

Here's my sweet cutie pie getting ready to talk. She makes a lot of cooing noises now and will talk to you when you start talking to her.

This is the cute cake that her daddy got for her party. It's absolutely adorable. Church, food, and bingo fun was had by all. We missed you-Brad, Emmy, Gabe, Betsy, Blake, Jenny, Abby, and Hallie. We hope to see you guys soon, and if not soon we'll see you at Christmas.